hmmm... how am i gonna start... i start my day very hard..last night was a long long night for me... as today is the Ash Wednesday.. i feel bad... reaalyy bad... how stupid i am to defend this 3 years relationship.. feel so stupid to say the word 'PLEASE'.. but, i know, he is not meant to me after all... he had been so good..caring and loving... but at the same time he felt forced and scared of me.. yup..i admit it that is not love. love is when u sincerely wan to care and love sum1... not by force, not by you have to... so, now, i have to setel down..going back to 0... its hard for sure... everythg i do, everythg i see remind me of him.. i take my hp, remind me of him... eveythg~~ remind me of him... pendek kata, too many memoriess being wif him.... its like u are getting divorced letter from ur hubby... its more than painfull... its better for me to get stab than dealing with this..... hmmm.... wat so ever... i'll try to b gud.. be gentle wif him... if he thing breaking up is the best way, what choice do i have? i'm single anyway once he treated me like dis... i'm still young..24 years old... i just hope that i can find sumone that can love and care for me without forced.... i know that God is not that cruel.. i know He is not bad.... He is sooo pure in love... i'm the one who blind.... and stupid somemore... mayb this is the point or a msg to me from Him that i should come back to Him.. trust Him more than human being on earth... Love myself more than anyone else... He provide pure love and never leave me alone.. He is there for me.. even i left Him for another guy, he never find someone to replace my place.. i always have place in Him... and i m so sure that my jodoh is not here yet... so, i have to b strong bcoz God knows that i am strong... i believe He will send me an angel to comfort me...
right now, i just need motivation to go tru lyf.. i just need companion... this is the times i nid my friendsss..my gila2 friends who make me laugh.... and now i dun have curfew somemore!! hahahha...there are no 11pm ordy.. i can do and sleep whenever i like... it will b hard at the beginning when u ussed to do that every night for 3 years kan... wahh..i just cant imagine how my lyfe will change after this.... will totally change!!!! OMG!!!!
-to be continue-
